Survivors have the ability to create the same beautiful life experiences, accomplishments and fulfilled dreams as others. But sometimes during the journey, they get stuck in a traumatic world. They struggle to find the freedom that all of us so desperately seek.
There are parts of us that are afraid to let go of old familiar patterns even though the results are painful. It’s all we know. But it is possible to release the hold these patterns have on our life today and to become more than we expected or thought was possible.
But it’s almost impossible to do on your own. It takes a fresh pair of eyes to uncover what you’ve spent a lifetime trying to forget. Not just memories, although you may uncover some of those, but the thought patterns, messages and beliefs that are driving your choices today.
Because it’s what’s left over after the abuse, neglect and trauma has ended that is causing you so much pain today. And not only causing you pain but keeping you in a cycle of behaviour that keeps delivering the very results you’re trying so hard to escape.
It’s not your fault.
Many of us reach moments in our lives where we are like that dresser—sitting by, feeling cast off or abandoned, beat up by losses and cruelties and shame, worn down by the effort it takes just to keep going, feeling ugly, past your prime, worthless, and unwanted.
Maybe it’s the effects of a traumatic past, maybe it’s the dark pull of depression, maybe it’s the endless oppression of addiction, anger, or anxiety, but you feel too heavy and weighed down to move yourself into the life you want.
This is what emotional trauma feels like. You feel like life has given you some things that are too much to handle. You may not know if there’s really any hope of letting go of your depression, anger, or anxiety.
The good news is that there is hope! Recovering from trauma is possible.
The process of recovering from trauma—the process of healing—is a lot like my furniture project. There is no quick fix. There is no shortcut.
There is no magic pill; an antidepressant can help, but it cannot heal on its own. Whether you’re facing a mental health struggle, an emotional wound or a harmful pattern of behavior, it takes work to heal from trauma, hard work and diligent commitment to the process.
Healing an emotional wound takes:
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional trauma is a process. It’s not an overnight change, but with the right help and support it’s possible to move past the pain that feels stuck. In your pain, shame, or feelings of worthlessness, the temptation is often to pull away, to isolate from others. But this will only make the road to wellness longer, darker, and harder.
Sometimes, it can help to spend time with someone who knows a bit more about the process of healing from trauma—such as a therapist, coach, or mentor. You can check out another article on why feeling safe is important during trauma therapy.
There’s nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know the way forward. Talk to a Coach today.
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