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Your vision needs a spark.
It doesn’t need a blaze.
You may be doing well in your life. You may be an achiever. You can be on your way to achieve something that you set out for yourself. You may have it ‘all figured out’. You are relying on your knowledge, your skills, your past learning to get what you want. And due to any number of reasons you can find that all of such motivation is gone. It is difficult to achieve and it is easier to let go than to fight. You may get a series of decisions wrong. And you may see that carrying on is difficult.
These are common occurrences and you can find yourself questioning yourself and maybe, even run out of the will to get out of such a situation. Author Steph Barnes encounters one such experience in her life and shares her lessons to all of you in “How to spark influences: Your Vision”.
Steph Barnes argues that anyone can be ‘lost in the wind’, you may lose self-confidence, identity, solid ground, flawless decision making and even social and financial standing when any instance shatters you to the ground and one feels disdain. It is only then that you feel grounded. Feeling grounded is an uneasy feeling. It is such a time when one should be open to learn, unlearn and relearn. All of this is easier said than done. It is here that the role of a mentor comes into your life. A mentor can show you the spark, can ignite the vision and set ablaze your motivation. No matter how much you feel the need to isolate yourself when time shows you the trough; you should go to the person who can help you. And in no time you can feel that the vision you lost, the spark that extinguished, can be back with a blaze.
Such instances came in her life when she lost her husband and her job. It was unnerving for her and to say that time was difficult, would be an understatement. She found a mentor in her friend David. She asserts on getting help simply because one may need a fresh perspective and learning out of other’s experiences to help us get through. And simply put we as humans do need help and we are not stronger fighting alone. We can need support and some cheering up. Just think what would you lose if you simply put yourself in a box and let all your blessings go unnoticed?
Apart from this she also necessitates the feeling of “feeling all of it”. Do not lose touch of your feelings. Address them, understand them, process them and move on. . Even if it is necessary, feel the rock bottom. While you are in this process you feel compassionate enough for yourself. You will be truer to yourself. And here in this moment you will feel what you need to learn, what all thoughts have to let go, what you have to unlearn, and what you need to re-learn to face the new life. While you are realigning yourself towards your newer or a ‘reset’ life staying in touch with yourself will surely help you move towards your vision. You face the loss instead of internalizing the pain of your loss.
Counseling can be from anything, it can be from the books you like to read, it can be from a life-long friend, it can be from your mentor. It will help you to be more articulate. It will help you understand the power of receiving help from others, through relentless pursuit of wisdom, inspiration, prayers et cetera. It is then you develop a spark. Spark does not only help you get your life back in order but also establish values, action and character.
Sympathy comes from a position of superiority but empathy comes from a position of equality. She emphasizes developing empathy. Check on your friends who might feel a little down in their lives. Call them, check on them, have video calls, send them gifts. Because you might understand them a little better and have a better understanding of their situations once you live through similar situations. And as a proverb goes, what goes around comes around. You extract what good you see in them, you tell them, it raises their self-worth. You apply to yourself what you learn from them.
All of these things will not only be an appetite for your vision but for your life. Such small actions change how people see you. It changes how you see others and the world. Nonetheless, there is some ‘pressing’ to do to find your spark. Be consistent, be faithful, be honest, encourage yourself and encourage others. Allow yourself time. It is this pressing and this time which will let you bring a new wine to your life and a strong influential mindset.
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