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Do You Express Yourself Enough?
We wrap our lives in the garb of pretence, believing in surface-level relationships continuously trying to hide our emotions and thoughts. We cover up the gaps in our understanding with society’s acceptance and pretend that order has been imposed. And, for the most part, the fiction is effective.
We skim across the surface, oblivious to the depths below. Dragonflies flitting over a mile-deep lake, pursuing erratic paths to meaningless ends. Until something from the cold unknown reaches up and grabs us.
Why does this happen? Why is it so hard for us to express ourselves? How would it be, if we let go of the mask we’re wearing in the pretence of living our lives? And how can we build trust in a relationship that we are a part of, where we don’t live with the fear of expressing ourselves to the person we live with. Let’s explore these questions.
Why do we fail to express ourselves?
We, humans, sometimes live to please people. Ironically, we label our fears, as they are less likely to resurface and lead us astray later on. It appears that verbalising our anxieties and fears has helped us manage our behaviour. But why have we failed to express ourselves?
This has happened due to the presence of :
- Anxiety
- Lack of Trust and Understanding
- Lack of Self-esteem
- Fear of rejection
- Sometimes even society and culture
All these have played a significant role in shaping our abilities and thoughts. They have given rise to numerous stereotypes. These stereotypes have a negative impact on our minds, causing us to overthink people’s judgments, or one may be afraid of mocking.
We have outgrown the need to trust ourselves and feel our emotions. Our need for society has taken away our ability to express and we have fallen into the deep pit of pretence.
How can we overcome this fear?
1. Understand who you are and what you are feeling
This involves understanding all the core personality aspects, values, likes, dislikes, weaknesses and strengths.
Self-awareness and self-expression are correlated. Being aware of our emotions allows us to communicate more clearly about our feelings, avoid or resolve conflicts more effectively, and move past difficult feelings more easily. So, to express better understand your soul and what carries within.
2. Trust People
The tendency to constantly feel that people might reject our thoughts and outcast us keeps us from expressing our thoughts. When trust is intact, people willingly contribute what is required, not only by offering their presence, but also by sharing dedication, talent, energy, and honest thoughts on how the relationship or group is functioning. Let go of this fear of rejection and trust them to accept you and understand you.
3. Overcome Communication Gap
Most of the times, the process of Communications falls flat due to the emergence of errors like miscommunications, lack of listening or motivation. Eliminate these barriers and bring positive communication into the picture so that the fear of expression is lost and the balance is maintained.
4. Own Your Emotion
Emotions can be difficult to understand and honour, and it can be difficult for anyone to learn how to listen to and honour these feelings. And it will become more difficult to simply shrug off emotions as you become more accustomed to recognising your body’s response to them. Your body is responding for a reason, and it is critical to recognise that.
5. Stop Fearing the Outcome
Our concentration on dream reality stops us from expressing ourselves. We constantly need judgement and affirmations from others. And when we don’t receive them we tend to fall crib to the fear of the outcome. This fear alleviates to such heights that the result falls flat.
6. Express yourself verbally
The most crucial step to gain an upper hand over the fear of expression is to express. Self-expression has the ability to change lives by its true ability to communicate our emotions.
Let go of the fake smiles, the garb of pretence and the veil of pleasing others. After that, you may live your life in accordance with who you are and authentically communicate yourselves to the rest of the world. Give yourself a chance to express yourself, then only you’ll be true to your relations.
After all, it’s not a fiction you are living but a reality building. Remember, expression and connection are the basic desires of our human soul, if not for this, what else are we living for?
