What Is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is its true form, is not about becoming perfect.

Perfectionism, according to the American Psychological Association, is “the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation.”

In other words, it’s considered a personality trait, not a mental disorder. 

Perfectionism can be either positive (“adaptive”) or harmful (“maladaptive”), according to a 2020 review in the International Journal of Medical Education. Even those who strive for perfection allow themselves to make mistakes from time to time. Others, on the other hand, are “motivated by a fear of failure,” and are more prone to anxiety, sadness, and other “negative health repercussions.”

We generally think about perfectionism in the context of actions and outcomes like being a topper, reaching weekly targets, making sure the dinner party goes off without a hitch, and so on. In other words, perfectionism looks to be about making the world a better place.

This makes sense because perfectionism’s actions are conspicuous and simple to spot: staying late at work every night, reading the report for the fifth time, putting in an extra half hour on the task, and so on.

However, just because habits are visible and easy to spot doesn’t mean they tell the whole story. Or possibly the most crucial component of the narrative. The way we think about perfectionism is heavily impacted by its appearance; nevertheless, as we all know, appearances can be deceiving.

True perfectionism is miserable, not a benign personality quirk or the fake humility of the high-achiever.

At its most basic level, being a perfectionist is having extremely high standards. Nothing you accomplish seems to be good enough because your expectations are so high. On the surface, this appears to be a good approach to push yourself to accomplish more, better, and faster things, but the truth is that motivation is fleeting.

Perfectionism is a vicious spiral. It starts with “This isn’t good enough—I’ll try again,”  and then it becomes toxic where it will weave a trap of “This isn’t good enough either—I’ll try even harder.”

Although the principle of continuously giving it your all and striving to be better is admirable, the motivation in this situation is faulty and will not yield long-term gains. It’s actually a habit, one that can be developed and reinforced via practice. It served a purpose as a habit at one point in time, even if it’s no longer useful, and as a habit, it covers behaviours as well as certain conditioned thinking.

Reasons Why One Becomes A Perfectionist

One fact about perfectionists is that they are constantly under intense pressure. It is difficult to be a perfectionist.

Fear is the motivating force behind a perfectionist. Fear of criticism, failure, or humiliation motivates people to work until their work is “perfect.” This can be influenced by family, peers, and society. Just like an overachiever is expected to continue living an overachieving lifestyle.

People with a history of great achievement may experience overwhelming pressure to maintain their level of success. Consequently, they frequently dabble in perfectionism. Children who are constantly complimented for their achievements may feel pressure to continue excelling as they grow older, which can also result in perfectionist tendencies.

Many factors can contribute to whether perfectionism develops. A few include:

1. Frequent fear of others’ disapproval or emotions of insecurity and deficiency.
2. Mental health conditions such as anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). While there is a correlation between OCD and perfectionism, not everyone with perfectionism has OCD, and not everyone with OCD is a perfectionist.
3. Genetic Factors such as possessing a parent who displays perfectionist tendencies or expresses dissatisfaction when their children’s efforts are not successful. Some parents may encourage their children to succeed in every aspect or push them toward perfection to an abusive degree.
4. An insecure relationship in childhood. People who had a tough bond with their parents as children may struggle to self-soothe as adults. They may have difficulty accepting a positive outcome if it is not flawless.

EXAMPLES OF PERFECTIONISTIC BEHAVIOR

Most people want to succeed, yet working hard to attain your goals does not always imply perfectionism. Those who are perfectionists believe that nothing they do is worth doing unless it is flawless. Instead of taking pride in their accomplishments, they may obsess over producing flawless work or continually comparing their work to the work of others.

Even if they achieve their goals, perfectionists may still be dissatisfied. It’s possible that they think they wouldn’t have had to put in as much effort if they were actually perfect.

Some examples of perfectionism in daily life include:

• Writing and rewriting even a small mail, until it ticks.
• Believing that leaving one question unanswered on a test is a failure.
• Not being satisfied when others achieve more than you 
• Comparing own successes to those of others in a negative or unreasonable manner.
• Rather than focusing on the process of learning, you fret about the outcome.
• Avoiding a new task or a new hobby because you’re afraid of being exposed as sloppy.

The Paradox of Perfection: True Perfection Is Impossible

Most people who struggle with perfectionism will say that they intuitively understand that striving for perfection is both impractical and harmful and that there is no such thing as actual perfection.

The paradox underlying perfectionism can be summarised in this way:

Even though perfectionists are aware that they will never be able to achieve anything perfectly, they yet feel compelled to keep trying.

In both cases, the habit of striving for perfection was prompted by a distressing scenario and the desire to alleviate a painful emotion.

Initially, the drive to achieve greatness appears to be a harmless one. It is the perfectionist’s belief that their work is outstanding, and that they are constantly striving to achieve perfection in all areas. Then comes the dawn of the harsh reality. It is possible that our relentless quest for perfection may lead to feelings of inadequacy and the urge to cover ourselves with a mask of perfectionism. When we demand perfection from others, we can end up damaging relationships and miss out on great chances. 

This addiction can lead to additional mental health issues, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder or attention deficit disorder. When we see the harm that our quest for perfection causes in our lives, the paradox becomes apparent.

Since it works on some level, the habit of striving for perfection becomes more ingrained. As a youngster who obsessively anticipates every potential possibility surrounding their abusive parent, it may actually save them from harm.

However, the practice of striving for perfection may also “function” in the sense that it brings respite from an uncomfortable emotion. The neglected middle child is able to distract themselves (temporarily) from the sadness that comes from feeling dismissed and devalued by their parents by focusing on their schoolwork and achieving good grades.

The goal of perfectionism is not to be flawless, but to have a perfect opinion about oneself.

In many individuals, the common reason that is found in having a perfect outcome is related to an emotion, a rather painful one. Anyone who develops an ingrained habit of aiming for perfection is in order to feel happy (or at least less bad).

In the past, aiming for perfection brought some emotional comfort to them, and so the brain “pushes” them toward that option in the present time whenever an unpleasant emotion surfaces.

Every time we push ourselves to the limit, we reinforce the link between negative emotions and the pursuit of perfection. As a result, the initial push becomes increasingly powerful over time. Violent cycles are created in this manner.

People who are perfectionists don’t do so because they believe they will reach perfection; rather, they do so in order to temporarily alleviate an uncomfortable emotion they are experiencing.

The desire to “be flawless” isn’t what drives perfectionism; it’s the obsession with “perfectness” itself.

Why Most Perfectionists Are Procrastinators? 

You leave your client’s meeting buzzing with ideas and excitement for what you’ll do next. You set a deadline for ideas, a strategy, and designs – everything that will help the project move forward. Everything is obvious in your mind at that time, and you can’t wait to get started.

However, as the deadline approaches, something shifts. You want it to be terrific, amazing, and immaculate. Despite the fact that your vision is clear and your ideas are sound, you continue to put off starting the process.

It’s finally the day before the deadline. You’re kicking yourself for putting things off, and your self-esteem and willingness to act are both waning. Then there’s the deadline. You’re not only haranguing yourself for perhaps squandering a huge chance, but you’re also fretting and stressing about pulling it together by the end of the day.

We’d like to introduce you to the twin pairs that have just wrecked your nerves and your work: perfectionism and procrastination.

Perfectionism is often accompanied by procrastination. Perfectionists put off tasks as long as possible because they are afraid of not being able to execute them precisely. This originates from a fear that failing to accomplish the goal will reveal something unpleasant, incorrect, or worthless about them. Furthermore, perfectionists are afraid of being judged or ridiculed if they fail, either by internal voices or external authorities and peers.

Perfectionists delay more when they are afraid of failure and humiliation.

This irrational pursuit of perfection arises from a desire to maintain a sense of self-worth based on others’ expectations. Because perfection does not exist, it is often referred to be “the greatest kind of self-abuse.” More crucially, for day-to-day working and living, perfection is rarely required.

Being a perfectionist has one of the most damaging consequences: perfectionists procrastinate.

In our forthcoming articles, we’ll discuss Perfectionism and Procrastination Loop. Keep an eye on our blog page.

8 Signs You Are A Perfectionist And It’s Not Healthy