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Coaching Matters Blog

Home » Blog » Embodied Coaching – Listening to the whole self (LIVE Coaching Demo)

Let’s begin by acknowledging that vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. So, here is something for you to ponder over – “to feel is to be vulnerable”. Marie Quigley who has been the guest for this LIVE Coaching demo session comes with international accreditations and specialization in the coaching practice.

As an EMCC ESIA accredited coach supervisor she facilitates the deep, exploratory work of coaching supervision, recognizes the importance of normative formative and restorative spaces, supporting coaches at all levels to uncover blind spots and evoke expansion of “who they are being” through thought-provoking, reflective and highly creative conversations.

Some guidelines for a Coach from Marie Quigley before you begin your conversation with your client:-

  • Core competencies: By ICF’s standards, core competencies are extremely important to bring along during a coaching conversation. This means a coach should have creative and flexible foundations to work with.
  • Bring your whole self: Partner with the whole self of your client. Which means you need to use your whole self, to begin with – the mind, body, and soul.
  • Set a self-goal: Your aim during the coaching conversation has to be to create internal transformation for long-lasting change for people. You need to genuinely believe that the client has all the answers.
  • Your approach: The success of the coaching conversation begins with how you turn up. Depending on how you turn up impacts the client. Your presence impacts the client’s presence.
  • Listen: It is not just about listening to the client. It is also about paying attention to your whole self so that you can pay attention to the client’s whole self.
  • Support your client: The conversation needs to lead in a way to support the client. Supporting your client in any way possible should be your approach. Support them in a non-judgmental and non-directive way.
Step in with curiosity

Here are a few takeaways that you want to sum up after the demo session are:

  • Create a trusted and safe space for your client to remain vulnerable.
  • Be fully present during a coaching session.
  • To step up to the client’s wavelength ask questions.
Open to questions from participants
  1. How do you deal with when you feel that the conversation is not going in the direction that you wished
    Always trust the client. Hold the goal at the back of your head to ensure that you help achieve your client’s goal.
  2. Should the coaching session be time-bound? How do you evolve the conversation across the time limitations?
    I would also have the time limitations at the back of my mind. I would leave the coaching conversation at a reasonable point when it feels that the client is satisfied enough. I try not to go beyond an hour because the client is also going through deep transformational work. It gets tiring!
  3. Clients want fast results but are not willing to move through the conversation and change at the same rate. How to deal with such conversations?
    Coaches should be adjusting to support the client’s requirements. Use contracting as an engagement to ensure your clients work towards quick and fast results. Negotiate the terms that go with the duration.
  4. How do you deal with conflicting values with your client? How do you handle when the client is not willing to take action?
    Do the values exercise which will help you hear out the conflicting values. Be as transparent as possible during the coaching conversation. Naming things helps the client become aware. Create a system around it.

So, here is where you need to identify if their goal is truly their goal or their family’s goal or the society’s goal. ‘Is the goal truly aligned with what they want?’ Help them identify and articulate.

To explore the full Q&A session, stay tuned to the abridged version of the Coaching Matters session visit,

Disclaimer: This is a summary extracted from a Coaching Matters webinar which was hosted by xMonks. The ideas and recommendations in this article are derived from the presentation delivered by Marie Quigley on 9th Sept, 2020.

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