5-step model to help adults shift from childhood trauma

by Team xMonks

Hey folks! Meet Mr Shayamal. A trauma specialist. His approach to healing is his approach to performance. He brings together understanding from human physiology and understanding psychology.

In the podcast we talked about his 5-step model to help adults shift from childhood trauma. Trauma, while many of us are not even aware of ours, our personality is based around the time we were suppressed. It then embeds like a tumour and the only solution is to heal it. Release it.

Let’s dive into the deeper parts of the conversation.

Table of Contents

Our Thoughts and The Subconscious Mind

Gaurav: You have done a lot of work in organizational psychology, and behavior, and you work with organizations. But I would love to hear from you what all you do.

Shayamal: I spent my whole life fighting with marketing teams who keep asking me to pick one thing that I do. And the one thing that I do is I do everything. Before I even got into university, I realized that my journey as a professional athlete was limited. So I had to study. So I studied Sport Science, because it gave me the best chance in staying in the area of sport, qualified and started working as a coach.

When I went into understanding the mind, there was a completely different Labyrinth on its own. I was deeply fascinated with thoughts and subconscious programs. The only thing that dealt with subconscious programming, at that place through an academic qualification, was actually childhood trauma, or childhood psychology. Purely because we understood that the child’s brain operates in a detailed brainwave state. So as you can see, I didn’t plan any of this, I got knocked from one post to another. And with each step that I took, I had a fundamental understanding that don’t leave what you learned behind, bring it with you. It will come to some use.

Discrimination in System

Gaurav: You spoke about what was happening to you when you thought that your sports career is not moving in the direction where you would like to see yourself playing?

What was that moment when that influenced your movement?

Shayamal: This is what nobody understands about racism. Right? About discrimination in any system is that the system when they display discrimination and systemic racism, it’s not that the system is bad against every person of color. No, no, it’s that the system identifies a few people of color, who make the gatekeepers for all the other people of color. So they turn you as a person of color against your own people. You understand that?

When that happened, I still felt teary when I realized what happens when people don’t understand it’s not that a white person comes up to you and screams at you. It’s the subtlety of turning you against your own people, and you’re not realizing it. That is when you start getting eroded from a core that you don’t even understand. When that started happening, I couldn’t come to terms with that.

The 5-Step Path of Healing For Adults

Gaurav: You work with adults, and help them heal the childhood traumas. What’s the process that you follow? How easy or tough is it?

Shayamal: I personally feel there are 5 steps for healing.

1. Step one is willingness. There must be a willingness to want to heal, a willingness to change. 99% of the people on the planet have a desire. 1% of people are willing to do what is needed.

2. Now when you have willingness, step two comes in, which is awareness. Only with willingness, can awareness come in. Awareness is a very broad subject, you could be aware. Let me give you an example. You can be aware that I have no money in my bank. Right? But when you’re willing to work hard to bring money into your bank, your awareness of what to do increases.

3. After you accept your current situation. Then comes empowerment.

Empowerment is taking the responsibility to shift that action.

4. After empowerment comes focus on what you need to do. When I’m working with people who are in trauma, the first thing I’m trying to shift is the willingness to do something, and peeling away layers of understanding the root cause of that trauma.

5. And last in healing childhood pain requires a phenomenal amount of vulnerability. It requires an amount of trust.

It’s a painful path they have to restructure everything within and without, that could be fear of losing whatever little that they have been able to accumulate for themselves in terms of money in terms of recognition, respect, relationships, from where they can actually get their dependency from.

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Finding the conversation interesting? Listen to the complete podcast here.

About the Speaker: Shayamal Vallabhjee

“For two decades, Shayamal Vallabhjee has worked at the forefront of cutting edge professional sport. Combining academic knowledge and practical, on-ground experience in Sports Science, Psychology and Ancient Spiritual Wisdom, he helps athletes and executives tap into their infinite Human Potential. His approach to High-Performance is called a Balance Model which comprises of four components: Body (Training, Nutrition, Sleep) Mind (Meditation, Mindfulness & Subconscious Programs) Relationships (Family & Friends) & Environment (Everything you can see, smell, touch, taste and hear)

As an academic, he has been lecturing at colleges, universities and institutes for more than 15 years.

He authored four books in Sports Science, Motivation and Self Help. A 4x TEDx Speaker, INK Fellow, Australia India Youth Fellow, Men’s Health Trainer of the Year, Global Spa Wellness Guru of the Year and Global Advisory Board Member to Herbalife Nutrition. He was the Founder of HEAL Institute, a healthcare startup in physical rehab based in Mumbai India. He is currently the Founder of QSV Inspiration Media, a digital media startup that creates non-fiction content, tv shows and documentary dramas backed by evidence-based science.”

5-Step Path of Healing childhood trauma Discrimination in System Shayamal Valabhji Subconscious Mind

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